stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
