dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
