You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
