is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
