So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
