Whod you bang
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
