You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm sobbing to NWA
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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