I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize