have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
