I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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