Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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