I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
