the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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