How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
