dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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