why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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