Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
