is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize