so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
