Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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