More tranny stories later!
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
