i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
