Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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