grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I need water and some morals
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
