So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize