I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
