Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
