hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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