We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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