After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
