it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Randomize
