Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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