i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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