still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
