How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize