Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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