Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
