I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
