You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
