Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
