Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize