last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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