gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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