i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
