I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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