so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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