we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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