Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
