playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
