hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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