doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
