The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
