shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
