I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
