4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
