I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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