She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
