tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
