She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
