I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
