Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
