This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
