is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
