I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize