I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
