You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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