I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
