just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
