That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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