I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
