FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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