South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
