You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
