is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You ruined the universe
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize