He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
