My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
