woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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